either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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