drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
