Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
