They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
tequila makes me forget i have legs
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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