I bet he comes in French.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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