It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
