Where are you?
In a non slutty way
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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