I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
