Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
