I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
