fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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