I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Come see our sink grown plant.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
