yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
