Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
