Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
birth control should be required to get into college
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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