Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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