just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
