Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
