Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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