my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Randomize
