Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
