also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
