careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
