Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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