Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
