I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
