I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
