Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
its not stalking. its research.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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