Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
