Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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