Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I party with great urgency now.
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