Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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