Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
