I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
