Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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