there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
