Pregnant stripper...not hot.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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