The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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