I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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