what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
