I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
