So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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