I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
