he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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