I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
