she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He felt like a one man threesome
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The air was thick with penises
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
