Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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