My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
