Who wears a wallet chain?!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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