Dual....:-)
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
