Soap is not a condiment
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
