after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
